FROM A POOR PERSONAL BIOGRAPHY TO A LIFE OF ABUNDANCE.
What happened to me so that everything changed so suddenly?
My name is María Paula, it is the name that parents gave to their daughter. Not only did they give her a name but they also transmitted what they received from their parents, which in turn came from their parents.
The interrupted experience of love, or, the experience of rejection of authority, created a programme of multiple resistances that in turn resulted in this: My life. A life full of vacuums without meaning, a life of feeling dead in life, a life of lacking and suffering; invented needs from a loyalty towards the known, and to the belief that love and happiness are not for me, because I do not deserve them. I do not deserve love, I do not deserve joy. I came to suffer, like my mother, like my grandmother, like all the women in my family system. Life is a meaningless sacrifice. Then my life was converted into a purpose imposed by the part of me that was in pain. The idea was then engraved in my mind: “I came to impose my beliefs, my ideas, my values, with authoritarianism and from a place of intolerance, of punishment” like dad, or like my grandfather.
That is my historical biography, but now I can affirm: That IS NOT ME anymore! Because I am Me, and Today is TODAY !! And they are them, and yesterday already passed, it already was.
This present that I enjoy so much is the happy ending of my story!!
Only one important thing happened in my life. Just one. And from there all the others. One day I decided I did not want to continue living under the scourge of conditioning, trapped in my mind, and feeling helpless, frustrated and angry. That morning I woke up wanting to sleep the eternal sleep, like every day. However, it was the last day of that way of living.
They say that when something is decided in favour of our soul, that then everything starts to happen.
One important thing happened in my life, and from there all the others … I decided to throw myself fully into new ways of comprehending existence, life, and myself. I knew I was in a big mess, and I knew that its time was up.
Only one important thing happened in my life, and from there all the others… I recognised that I did not know how to live. I recognised that it was time to stop fighting, to stop wanting everything to be as I thought it should have been. I recogniaed that I lived from a place of rejection. I was so desperate, ready for everything, including to Surrender.
At noon one day more than three years ago, I met Marco, a friend I had met on a course for welding with electrodes 10 years before. And during that time I had seen him so many ways, under the effect of so many substances. So many ways in which he connected with women, with men and with himself. I was amazed to see him, he was resplendent, at peace, he looked relaxed, cheerful, clean, well dressed, and I said jokingly: Hey, whatever you’re taking I want some too! To which he said: Really? It’s called Ayahuasca.
I had heard the word Ayahuasca many times and it only produced rejection in me. I had that word associated with shamans who got into the minds of others and could heal, and strange spirits that would take over. Imagine, how many ideas. But that day, at that precise moment when I repeated the word Ayahuasca, I fell in love, I do not know what with, and I knew that I was even willing to drink Ayahuasca. I was decided. I still did not know how it would happen, but the decision was made. Marco invited me to a conference, there they would talk about this natural ancestral medicine.
Only one important thing happened in my life, and from there all the others… Sergio Sanz was at the conference, an expert psychologist in expanded states of Consciousness. He began saying that he was part of a team of people who integrate at Inner Mastery International. People dedicated to supporting and accompanying people in their processes of Inner Evolution, and consciously using Ayahuasca as a tool of pure love and kindness, which acts progressively; people come to remember what they have forgotten. That they are a living organism in constant movement and transformation, nourishing themselves from all the people who come to retreats. Decontextualized contexts are created where people can become vulnerable in environments of free expression and non-judgement… All the words that Sergio said resonated inside me at the deepest level, so the next Thursday I went to the Inner Mastery epicentre in Barcelona. I paid for six retreats in advance, and I entered into the mystery that I am made up of. I was totally determined to transform my life.
The only important thing that happened in my life, was to comprehend that IT IS POSSIBLE TO HEAL, and from there I opened myself to the possibility of reconciling myself, of dis-identifying myself, of updating myself, of living my own life, of reopening my heart!
A part of me is writing to tell you that it is possible to heal. It only depends on you. On your decision to open up to new ways of comprehending life, of connecting with the immense need of your soul to remember your essence. It is from this place that I transmit to you the message that came to me and from which the impossible became possible, and the dream became a reality. It is possible to HEAL! It only depends on oneself, not on Ayahuasca; and if you make the decision, we will support you and accompany you. But I want to tell you that we will give you a medicine that does not cure, using a method that does not work, but rather YOUR DECISION will. We can not help you in any way but maybe this text will inspire you or encourage you to take an important step in your life.
If you want to use the shamanic tools to enter an expanded state of consciousness, they will be the means, but not the end, and during the experience, when the key moment to jump comes, you will be the one who launches to open the heart, and for one night, perhaps the first, to give yourself permission to feel again, embracing everything, accepting, things were as they were!
We use a method that does not work, because there is no such thing as telling you what to do, or how, or when, or with what attitude. Rather this method is a key to deprogramming the security code that gives power to the mind and nullifies the heart.
Why can’t we help you? Because it is impossible for us to enter you, you are the only one capable of dissolving the great mess in which you find yourself, since you are the one who created it by being loyal to each mandate that was transferred to you. For love, we unconsciously obey the destructive orders of those who gave us life, and by obeying them, we disobey ourselves, but we could not do anything else with them as they are the ones who gave us life.
If I told you that we can help you, I would be saying that the power to heal is mine, not yours. But the truth is that the only power I have is over myself, the only one I can help is me, and you yourself.
I live in abundance, which means that I overflow with love and gratitude, and from here I write to you, inviting you to give yourself the unthinkable gift that can transform your life, and I’m not talking about putting another plaster on, or making a new change destined to become obsolete as the days or weeks pass. I am talking about making a journey into the depths of yourself. I am talking about you throwing yourself into the unknown for at least for a night, and trusting in mystery. And so from the most absolute love you allow yourself to embrace yourself and embrace life, comprehend yourself and comprehend from a new, conscious place.
It is a miracle what happens when a human being decides to open their heart! They inspire those who are with them, as if they were a garden full of closed flowers. At the precise moment when a flower decides to open its petals to the sun and spread its fragrance in the air, all the other flowers do it too; It is the magic of life and of the encounter!
Currently Paula Saveli is one of the directors of the organization, made up of several companies dedicated to internal evolution. in more than 30 countries. She is in charge of the general coordination of the team in Catalonia and has been trained in our European School of Ayahuasca and Conscious School.
Alberto José Varela