THE PAINFUL AND COMPLICATED REENCOUNTER WITH THE LOST INNOCENCE
Children bring forgiveness under the arm.
Please look into a child’s eyes, the innocence of every living being. Not only in humans but in every living being we are moved when we see flawless babies or litter radiating and giving off their charm and natural beauty. THEY DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. This innocence unfortunately lasts but a few years in human beings. Then we spend all our life in exhausting and long healing processes trying to recover our innocence.
A child comes to life and does not know whether he has been wanted or not, whether he is welcome or not, if his parents are rich or poor, if he is going to be loved or hated, if he is going to be accepted or rejected, in fact he does not know anything, he has no memory and has not developed the ability to perceive or be aware of his environment, that is why he has no thoughts and therefore he is INNOCENT. He has not come to any conclusion yet.
The girl in the title picture is 4 years old, her name is Kelly Clarisa, she is staying at home with us for some time, last night she asked her father Erik: what does forgiving mean?
When she arrived home two days ago, I told her that she should fasten her seat belt every time she is in the car. But in the morning when we drove away she did not fasten it, the police stopped us and she realised how much trouble we got in due to her not having her seat belt fastened.
Not only that we “wasted” our time, the possible fine, and other difficulties, but I could also see if at any time the girl perceived that she had done something wrong (at that age she is already able to perceive it). I was watching her, her father and I told her that to avoid these issues the seat belt must always be fastened.
The evident facts helped her to understand the duty. But the sense of guilt pursued her. The tone in which her father and I told her she could now understand why the seat belt should be fastened, helped her not to blame herself. She only understood that it was dangerous to travel without the seat belt fastened and that if she did not do it, the police would punish us.
The fateful word: “punishment” appeared. So closely related to of the idea of being guilty. If facing an undue incident there is a punishment, it is because a mistake has been made and must be condemned. The idea of mistakes or imperfection is in the root of the problem that every human being, who has neither understood nor experienced what forgiveness means, has.
According to laws and morals that rule what is good or bad, it is obvious that all of us will make many mistakes and offences either by doing or not doing But there is something that really grabs attention, and it is that THE MAIN MISTAKE THAT MANY PEOPLE FEEL IS “BEING BORN” OR JUST “BEING THE WAY THEY ARE, WHAT THEY ARE LIKE”. It does not seem like it could be a mistake, but for them it is. Children who have not been desired or whose parents project their expectations on them, accusing them unconsciously of not being like they should be. (I think most of humans fit into one of these two options).
If I had to answer to a girl’s innocence
what forgiveness is I would tell her : “ It is to be aware of that nothing and nobody can hurt anything or anybody” “It is to understand that there is nothing to forgive” “ It is to feel from your heart that everything is perfect, that there is nothing to reproach or censure” but this meaning is hard to understand for a child who has not lost his innocence yet, or for anyone else who has lost it and does not want to recover it.
Today I asked Keilly, the 4 year old girl in the picture: what did your father tell you about the meaning of forgiveness? And she told me: “ That if I scratch or scrape someone I mustn’t be told off or punished” again the relation between mistake-punishment that unfortunately children have implanted since they were very young. Carrying out a disconnection between the error and the punishment is essential to open up a process of forgiveness. Once they are isolated, error can be seen and observed as a wrong or distorted interpretation, an idea which comes from the wound and traumas that we carry; a thought that is born from partial conclusions; if the perception of the error is changed, the punishment automatically falls down. That is the moment when innocence reappears.
Can a criminal become an innocent? If we formulate this to any criminal, we would think it something very dangerous, since not associating crime and punishment would give them a free hand to commit all the crimes they wanted to without being punished. And it is that exactly what happens, it is the perfect criminal strategy to feel no guilt, because with no blame or guilt anything can be done. I could verify this situation myself in jail, I hardly found anyone who felt guilty for what they had done.
Each one changes the situation in their own way and extent to justify what they have done. They always find a way to escape from guilt making excuses and reasons for having done what they did. For example: the biggest mugger in Spain told me that he specializes in changing money from one place to another, that he does not steal, but shares out the money banks have with other people. He does not feel like he is stealing, but that he is fulfilling a social function. This is just one of a thousand examples. Another very happy man told me that he had burnt his wife because she took their house and children away from him, he was very convinced that he had done what had to be done. There is a long list of arguments to exempt the criminal from his psychological guilt, because even if the law later condemns them, in their perception judges are making a mistake; you may not believe what I am saying, I could not believe it myself, accusing the court for judging or condemn them. They claim that “ judges don’t know anything about reality” There is always an acceptable reason to commit a crime, or there is an error in the court’s action, but there is never any guilt. Why is there almost no guilt in jails? Because they have unconsciously found the shortcut to escape from self punishment and focus on punishing others. PUNISHING IS THE CONVICTS’ ENERGY. They have come to commit crimes as a form of punishment and they continue doing it because they punish a society who does not understand them.
Punishment does not release from guilt but it produces compensation. Even if a criminal is not punished he will keep unconsciously hiding his guilt. The only possible way out is for him to forgive himself from the core, but for that to happen, he must recognise the mistake and the guilt – even though the later does not exist – to then enter into the inner universe of feelings, where the pain of the wound is felt, the angst about what happened and where the great surgery that can remove the tumour of guilt takes place. It is what has been called “THE PROTOCOL OF HEALING”: this is what we humans live through and what so far seems we are to go through, as though programmed to have to undergo the experience of guilt for some reason.
First: Making mistakes.
Second: Recognising our mistakes.
Third: Feeling guilt for what we did.
Fourth: Punishing ourselves and sinking into the angst produced by guilt.
The feeling of guilt is what perpetuates the fact of making mistakes. Feeling guilty is one of the biggest human addictions and is one of the main reasons behind addictions and actions which are judged or condemned.
An unconscious subtle need makes us fall over and over in all kind of actions which bring about guilt. Like a strategy designed on purpose to experience a series of unpleasant sensations.
But… Why do we look for this feeling repeatedly ? What does it make us feel?
What is its aim?
THE MAIN REASONS I HAVE DISCOVERED OVER THE LAST DECADES ARE:
- BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT TO ACCEPT IMPOTENCE AS PART OF LIFE AND HUMAN NATURE.
- BECAUSE WE HAVE CHOSEN TO MISTRUST. GUILT IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR TRUST.
- BECAUSE IT IS PART OF THE PROCESS WE ARE TO GO THROUGH TO HEAL OURSELVES.
- BECAUSE THE EVOLUTIONARY PROCESS OF CONSCIOUSNESS NEEDS TO GET IN AND OUT OF ANGST.
I promise I am going to develop each of these points in the next articles, but I do not want to get into a mental analysis now, but rather into a deep and mysterious reflection that has been living with me for a long time and each day conquers a larger space inside my heart. It is as a sneak peak into what FORGIVENESS is as medicine against guilt to recover INNOCENCE.
Obviously all of us are the creators of all our mistakes, crimes and faults, upfront or indirectly, by being part of the same mankind that has so far not been able to solve the problem of guilt except with punishments, revenge, judgements, resentment or indulgence. But very few are those who have understood the way of reconciliation through forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a psycho-emotional strategy, which is based on the illusion that wrong actions are undertaken, that indeed there are mistakes, that we can harm others or that there are things which should not have happened. It stems from the idea of imperfection. This is why many masters have not worked or suggested forgiveness as part of the healing process or fulfilment of a person, because coming to realise that everything is perfect is part of the evolutionary package experienced by all consciousness’ open to the truth and that connects with that which is transcendent.
But the truth is that to reach that high understanding it is necessary to go through a hard process of confrontation that will inevitably lead us to the possibility of FORGIVENESS.
In ancient African tribes, when someone killed another person, he was not locked up in any place, but was handed over the victim’s family so that they tied him on a boat to the deepest part of the river; at that moment the whole family decided whether to throw him into the river or not, in that initial moment he could be forgiven, but if the family could not forgive or preferred the punishment, he would be thrown into the river to drown; when this happened and the killer was thrown into the river, amongst the members of the victim’s family rose a second chance to forgive him, though they had but a few seconds to decide before he was drowned; it would be precisely the children who asked to save him. If at that moment someone shouted FORGIVENESS! any adult from the family could jump into the river to save him, and when this happened, not only would the ties be cut and the killer taken out of the river, but he would also be helped onto the boat to receive the forgiveness from the whole family.
This ancient aboriginal practice guaranteed mental and emotional health in the members of the tribe, because they knew that living with resentment is living a poisoned life, like having open social cracks as bleeding wounds that sooner or later would be expressed as revenge, punishment or torture. A guaranteed destruction and burden that does not allow one to live.
In these aboriginal tribes murders did not increase since they acted in such a way that they were healed through forgiveness.
FORGIVENESS IS A PROJECTION OF SYMPATHY. IT IS THE EPIPHANY OF LOVE. IT IS THE MOST DIRECT AND MOST DELICATE WAY TO DISSOLVE HATE AND RESENTMENT. IT IS A LIFE STYLE THAT PRODUCES KINDNESS AND JOY IN YOUR HEART.
BEHIND FORGIVENESS TOWARDS OTHERS LIES THE OPPORTUNITY TO FORGIVE OURSELVES.
People who do not want to forgive mostly do not want to forgive themselves. It is a strategy to carry on living in a schedule of guilt, punishment and death. Forgiving someone would open the door to inner forgiveness; and that would be the beginning of an inevitable transformation.
Forgiving is truly a crazy thing. The mind neither can nor wants to understand a fact that has hurt, or pained and suffering. But the question that all people who feel hurt, battered, or harmed, should be asking themselves is: who has produced the suffering? The person who has carried out a certain deed, the deed itself, life, God…..???? Or is it the interpretation of the deed what has created the idea of imperfection and the resulting guilt and need of punishment?
ARE WE READY TO DEPROGRAM THE IDEA OF ERROR?
If your answer is “yes”, then let us move on with the “HEALING PROTOCOL”:
Fifth: recognising the inherent innocence in our nature.
Sixth: realising that everything which happened, has happened because it had to.
Seventh: getting rid of the prison we are in, forgiving ourselves for having believed that we deserved the punishment.
Eighth: Opening ourselves up to life, to love, to abundance, to dedication, to confidence and to the flowing of the heart.
This healing protocol seems total foolishness for every mind which wants to continue in the same way, in hate, resentment and bitterness produced by the lack of understanding.
But it is the most wonderful process, which is healing thousands of people from the deepest part in their souls.
In fact this article is dedicated to all those who I could not share my own experience with forgiveness and to those who I felt the need to do something about, by at least giving them a tip towards a way out of the blocks they could have in their inner evolution.
SO, IF YOU HAVE NOT FORGIVEN YET, AND YOU HAVE THROWN THE MURDERER INTO THE RIVER, YOU HAVE SOME SECONDS LEFT BEFORE THE REVENGE IS CONSUMED, YOU CAN STOP IT, LET YOUR INNER CHILD’S INNOCENCE SAVE THE CONDEMNED, LET FORGIVENESS HEAL YOUR HEART. IT IS YOUR SECOND CHANCE.
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