“I NEVER THOUGHT THAT CHANGE WAS POSSIBLE, I HAVE NEVER BELIEVED IN MYSELF“
It is the typical thought that many people hold and conceal, even if they are doing everything to change.
Despair is a feeling that is as unhealthy as it is deep. The heart become closed when hope is lost. The only possible options for life is one of distrust or transformation.
Distrust is a virus that becomes deeply embedded and mutates in many ways. One of which is despair. Sooner rather than later, the hopeless person has to despair. It is part of their realisation process. But when they despair, they run the risk of running away from the source that might inspire them to change. This explains the relapses of so many people who want to quit their addictions.
Being in a state of despair is the constant effect of losing self-confidence for whoever experiences it. In reality you can not lose confidence, but you can recognise that you never had, or rather even, can realise that there has always been distrust. Any visit to the core of distrust leads us to gather causes and justifications to distrust. That is much easier and less painful than to taking responsibility for the fact that distrust is something that we project onto others.
When you live your whole life in distrust and there is the intention to live in trust, you have to do a huge amount of personal work on inner evolution. You have to open yourself to all the difficulties that arise, give in and surrender. But the fastest and least painful method is self-deception. For that you have to have some accumulated experiences and a well-studied script with an intellectual foundation, known and orchestrated so that it is credible and able to assure: “I CHANGED”. Then it is not necessary to change but to sustain the discourse. But then life itself is what ends up supervising.
When a person repeats one and a thousand times that they have changed or have overcome an addiction for example, and in fact they have not done so, by saying it not only are they self-affirming in the lie, but that they are also creating an attack on themself based on a lack of authenticity. They themselves can check every time they look at their life and do not feel happy, or see evidence that they have not changed. Then comes frustration, disappointment, disillusionment and the need to project failure onto others. “If I do not change and I’m not happy, then nobody can be”.
Many other people make real changes. They go through the pain of it happening and they open themselves up to the happiness that comes to them if this is true. Being happy, in peace and in harmony are examples of evidence that the changes are happening.
Today I was writing this post, as a result of thinking for several days about the relationship between distrust and the absence of changes, and I received this beautiful message which was posted onto Hendara Rico Castro’s Facebook page. She is in charge of the Tepoztlan Mexico EpiCentre and is a facilitator in our organisation:
A MANIFESTATION THAT IT IS POSSIBLE TO CHANGE:
A quantum leap! How amazing it is to transform, accept and release what hurts you; the expectations, the mental masturbation. Everything is summarised in a phrase that softens the soul, “It is what it is”.
Like alarms going off, and the desire to flee, you devalue them when something touches your conditioning.
How wonderful to dare to confront these things; in the end it is a second of pain, of consciousness, of surrendering to trust and not fighting.
The gift is a thousand, ten thousand, what am I saying, it’s millions of times bigger. And then you laugh hahahahaha. You laugh at what used to hurt you, and you realise that only you sustained the absurd, the soap opera, the drama.
That nothing you said was true, that they were suppositions and rules.
I used to feel as if I enjoyed myself, but I have now enjoyed myself more in these 3 days than in two years, and now to continue…
With my physical, emotional and mental age, I am installing myself in eternal maturity, in eternal youth, in eternal childhood.
Ayyyyy … girl, mother, old woman, witch, lover, cook, companion, worker … everything and nothing, but without them taking over me.
Free, free, free !!!!
Sometimes distrust is nothing more than a security device to avoid imminent change.
This device is activated when one is in danger of changing. It manifests itself as a demon, a paranoid creation whose purpose is to move us away, distract us, intimidate us, cool us down and distance ourselves from whatever will support us in the transformation process. Sometimes they are people, sometimes family or a close group.
Other times the device is activated to collapse changes that have actually occurred. There are people who have distrusted so much in their lives that if they make any change must resort to disbelief to question everything they have already achieved. It is another veil that covers reality.
To all those who are still there…persevering before the difficulties of a transformation, and who recognise that they are on the path of change, I want to say just one thing to you: INNER EVOLUTION IS WHAT GIVES MEANING TO LIFE; to surrender to life so that it carries out the devastating process of transformation. Life is very wise and it sends us everything we need to open ourselves up again to hope and love.
Alberto José Varela
If you want to carry out a process of change using the transformation technology that we offer in our retreats, you can write to: firstname.lastname@example.org