PLAYING AT BEING MORE OR LESS THAN OTHERS
The game of mutual healing navigates between inferiority and superiority complexes.
Each human being configures its own low self-esteem in some way. But now let’s get into the way in which people who dedicate themselves to helping others configure it.
We can determine where in the self-healing process most of the people who play the role of shaman, healer, therapist, gurus or teachers are by looking at the work they do with others. We have to recognize that this is a healing game for both parties, because it’s being played by two kinds of people that haven’t been able to transcend the apparent duality that exists between a human being who is happy, and someone who isn’t; they haven’t realized yet that there is no essential difference between someone who has read thousands of books and someone who can’t even read; they haven’t understood yet that nothing separates someone who does something for the others from someone who is dedicated only to them-self; they haven’t realized yet that whoever is having a bad time and whoever is having a good time are two parts of the same phenomena; they don’t perceive that the coward that’s blocking them-self and the brave person that dares are two parts of the same reality. Ultimately, the players who participate in the same game are dedicated to the same purpose: TO BECOME.
The inner reality of both groups is being manifested in that game; both the ones who believe themselves to be superior as the ones who believe themselves to be inferior, both those who believe they are wrong as those who believe they are right. Because somewhere inside all of them lies the same energy dating back to many years, the energy of learning how to lie, how to be somebody else, how not to reveal ourselves, how to cheat and self-deceive ourselves. And this is the reason why we all carry a root of the disciple, apprentice, patient, sick person or seeker. And until this germ doesn’t disappear, we won’t be able to transcend the reality that I’m explaining. I mean the need to help others.
Why do I give so much importance to transcend the need to help others? It is because I have discovered that such necessity is neurotic, and that, logically, it contaminates the other, infecting them with a virus, making them decelerate in their own inner evolution process.
I am aware of the repercussions that this kind of development might have, both in people seeking help as in those offering it. I would like to make the most of this opportunity to affirm that I’m not offering any kind of help to anybody. I am just proposing a new model of reaching the other to support and inspire them in their process of taking responsibility for themselves.
A lot of people that have connected with me have ceased to attend to or treat others because they realized the game they were playing. One of the psychotherapists that did so is a Mexican woman specialized in sexology. Not only did she leave her profession to one side, but she came to Madrid to train in the school that I’ve founded. According to what she said to me: she became aware of the game she was playing with her clients. Now, she wishes to transcend the need to help others in order to focus on herself, to go beyond that game and to be able to dedicate her life to inspire others in the self-healing act.
It is exactly in that way that we can work with Therapeutic-Spiritual Re-engineering within ourselves. Because we can redesign the model in which we are developing our activity, or the model in which we come seeking for help or receiving assistance.
In this article we are starting with dissolving the fantasy that we can become somebody in life. In the wake of this concept, one of the premises that I am about to develop is simply to be who we are, whomever it may hurt, and whomever it may bother. Therefore I will never propose to a student or reader to project themselves towards any model nor an example to follow, because what every ideal does is either distract us from the next step to take, or put pressure on us to reach it.
THOSE WHO APPARENTLY OVERCOME THEMSELVES AND TAKE THE LEAP:
There is a very particular group of people, the ones who have not yet taken the leap from the inferiority to the superiority complex – through the accomplishment of some hard to reach objective – and they jump into the void of unconscious daring, by inflicting the “I CAN” on themselves and furthermore the “I don’t need others to do it everything for myself”. These are the ones who feel ready but are not. It becomes clear that they cannot be stopped, but we can analyse them somewhat. Perhaps you are in this particular group.
We are defining people that without having untangled basic and fundamental aspects of their psycho-emotional health – although they might have forgotten or diminished it – either they set aside their own evolution processes and continue their lives believing that they have everything resolved, or they rush to help others with their problems or their confusion. Either way it is a “PRECIPITATED” and/or “PLANNED” act.
It is the mixture of these two words what defines this immature acceleration attitude. “TO PRECIPITATE” is to force the fall of something before it happens in a natural way. “TO PLAN” is to want something to happen. When you can predict the time that something is about to happen, it is because the process has been accelerated with some sort of manipulation.
On the contrary, “TO MATURE” is a natural process that does not require any kind of forcing. The fruit falls from the tree right after completing the absorption process of taking in everything the tree had to give. It is something that “falls due to its own weight” in a surprising and unforeseen way. When it falls it is unpredictable, but it is certain that a process has been completed.
Whether we are on one side or the other of this healing game between the inferiority and superiority complexes, deep down we can recognize points in common that unite us and at the same time separate us. Observe these affirmations: You are not complete, you are not perfect, you are not good enough, you are not prepared, and you are not up to scratch… This is the breeding ground of comparisons, jealousy and envy. Hate and resentment. So, in such a way there is something you need to do to solve it or do something to help others solve it.
The reason why I’m writing this article is to produce a reflection about the encounter between people that are doing good and others who are doing bad, people that are in the light with others that are in the darkness, to tell everybody: could it be that we are all in the same group of NEEDY human beings? The difference between BEING A HEALER or BEING A THEAPIST or BEING A GUIDE can turn into a DECEIVING MODEL. Likewise, BEING A SHAMAN, BEING A TEACHER or BEING A GURU can become a SCAM.
The healing game between the inferiority and superiority complexes is part of the evolution process. Once we have understood its meaning, and it has contributed that thing that we NEEDED, we can stop playing it in order to enter a higher phase.
What if we stop playing this healing game? The structure in which this game was built crumbles down, and with that, a great part of the illusion falls down.
The message you are able to transmit now is no longer “I will help you”, because you stop believing that better or worse exist. Rather it is “I will help myself”.
You stop considering the other as a patient, as a client. You stop considering the other as a therapist or a teacher. The word help does not fit this approach. To help is to humiliate and not love the other. This is why you will not assume the responsibility of holding nor solving other people’s problems. This is why it will not occur to you to ask for help, rather an orientation to take charge of your own responsibility. We are facing a new type of healing encounter for both parties, but this is because you have left behind the leftovers of the inferiority and superiority complex. And when this happens you access a very high frequency of healing exchange.
You used to think that the other was there to cover your needs. You were inclined to be held or have your problems solved by your therapist. You used to believe that you could cover other people’s needs. You were working to hold and solve other people’s problems. You were both doing business. One of the parties was holding and solving, and the other party was paying for that work.
In the development of these new models of interaction and attention between people that have certain needs for help, we are going to start creating situations in which we realize several essential issues so that the change in model is possible:
- That each personis responsible for them-
- That we are the conscious or unconscious creators of our own life.
- That the solutions and answers lie within ourselves.
- That the situation we are living in is much worse than we thought.
- That there are people or techniques that can support and strengthen us.
- That the deep and rooted solutions produce much better results than we believed.
- That we can be much better than we imagine.
- That we are within a game or lab test and things are not meant to be taken
- That everything was already planned for and determined to defy us to free ourselves (to break out of this mess).
If we come to understand and feel the authenticity of all this points, we are already at the gates of a great transformation, in which case it is likely that you might need inspiration, orientation or support. If you do not yet understand these points, it is certain that you need some kind of therapy or a guide to accompany you to comprehension.
It is obvious that in order for someone to accompany you in this process, they must have previously understood each and every one of the previous points. And this proposal is merely one of the emerging models for personal growth work, or better said, inner evolution.
We are facing a time of great creativity for the emergence of new and spontaneous solutions for human kind.
It is very likely that, if you have read this article, you are one of the human beings ready to take the leap.
Alberto José Varela