TESTIMONY OF A NORWEGIAN WOMAN ABOUT HER EXPERIENCE WITH AYAHUASCA.
On The After-effects Of Ayahuasca (Or rather, the effects that you did not expect)
When I had my first Ayahuasca experience in October 2016 I thought I knew what to expect. I had read extensively about the subject and watched several documentaries. Nothing of what I had read prepared my for my own experience, and even less for the after-effects. So what should you expect? How does the ayahuasca change you, and how does it feel?
Many people ask me, first timers mostly, if what they feel in the time after taking Ayahuasca is normal. The short answer is: Yes. It is perfectly normal – for you. For there is no “normal” way to integrate the experience, only a personal way. Some experience a heightened physical and sensory sensitivity, some feel like they are on an emotional roller coaster ride, some need more rest or sleep than usual and so on. Personally I have had some rounds of Ayahuasca that came with unpleasant after-effects such as flu-like symptoms that lasted for weeks and bouts of crying, as well as more pleasant ones such as laughing for absolutely no reason at all, an enormous sense of gratitude, a love of all living beings and for myself, and great sense of optimism and faith in the future. With Ayahuasca, everything is possible.
Yesterday I finished a 4 day Ayahuasca retreat here in Barcelona (which was amazing!), and on the last day I was overcome by an incredible feeling of love that I was completely unprepared for. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I started sobbing like a little child. Today I am still feeling it, and I am a wee bit hypersensitive.
The only thing I can think of comparing it to is what I believe it must feel like for a blind man to see for the first time. Imagine spending your life in darkness, only being able to hear the voices of your loved ones or to touch them. In your mind you may have a vague idea of what seeing them would be like, yet when you do see them for the first time it will not be anything like what you thought. The expansion of consciousness and the opening of the heart works in much the same way, for it allows you to see that which you were unable to before. Even if you feel overwhelmed by this, what are your options? If you could, would you really want to return to darkness?
What is important in the process of integrating this new view of the world is time and compassion. Let the process unfold naturally, live at your own pace and be good to yourself. And better still – enjoy it! It is an experience that not all are lucky to have and it is a great gift.
With love and gratitude,
Merlyn Gabriel Miller
Ayahuasca International holds Inner Evolution retreats with therapeutic use of Ayahuasca in several countries in Europe. Click the links for specific information on each retreat.
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