RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE CONSOLIDATION OF CONDITIONS, OR THE INSPIRATION FOR POTENTIALITY.
Communication between human beings builds the structure through which the energy of enthusiasm or de-motivation will flow.
I received a letter from a young Argentine woman. Barely twenty-five years old she is the president of Inner Mastery Argentina S.A. and has been a great discovery for our organisation. Her name is Leila. One of the secrets she manages is her openness to listening and making necessary changes.
A few days ago I sent instructions about how we communicate internally amongst members of the company. I wanted to convey the style of how I want people who are part of the organisation to be treated. I have been refining ways of communicating for many decades because communication creates relationships between people and the energy exchange that occurs affects everything we do.
I wanted to write an article based on her answer.
This was Leila’s response …
Let’s see Alberto. What you propose is magical. What you suggest is how to implant a seed of motivation without judgement, and in the process, to help awaken the true potential of each person. Trusting that each word can be integrated. (It’s not an easy job).
Could it be that this goes hand in hand with authority? I can see how the mere fact of speaking from the heart, with confidence and without an emotional charge, leaves an imprint on every person who receives this communication.
It is something like, saying particular and nice things to the “Being”, allows it to remember its own potential, while on the other hand sending a hint to the character so that it is cornered and naturally loses its power.
I don’t know if I’m explaining myself, but it’s true because it’s something I’m seeing in myself. Just treating myself with more gentleness naturally allows the voices of the lie like: “you can not, you’re not capable”, disappear. It’s like collaborating with the most beautiful part of myself. And not rejecting or getting angry at the ugly part, but rather being conscious and ignoring it. To know that it’s there. To look at it but not to say anything to it. That allows me to see beyond any “anger” or emotion that manifests.
What a mess I’ve gotten myself into!
Very recently I experienced the deepest love experience I have ever experienced and I would never have believed that it existed. It led me to authority, and now I do not know what to call it; but I know there’s no turning back…I’m cornered. When you told me in your email to refine my words, it took a while but I did it, and it’s incredible. To see how the other’s heart opens in front of you.
I want to go deeper into this!!! I feel like this is the secret!!!
“COMMUNICATION IS NOT WHAT ONE SAYS BUT WHAT THE OTHER UNDERSTANDS”
If we consider the place from which we address the other, we can become aware of the emotional charge we put on what we say. In this way we will understand that the reactions of others are intimately linked to what comes from us. And in the same way to be able to observe as listeners what is activated and moved within from what others say to us.
If each person dared to look inside, each person would take responsibility for themselves and for their personal evolution.
When we have a misunderstanding or an argument, there is a breakdown in communication and in the relationship with that person. If we then want to repair that fault with the same energy with which we created it, we will make the situation worse. If we are going to use the same approach we used when we created the problem, it is better not to fix anything. Problems can not be fixed in the same way they were created. It is essential to change the approach. When any person changes their way of communicating, of saying things, of expressing what he or she feels, a great confrontation arises because the change in the ways of communicating means having to make much deeper internal changes. As if the person had to move internally from the place where they live and from where they communicate. That place, in general, is called MIND, CONDITIONING, PROGRAMME, BELIEFS, ETC. No matter what you call it, it is the place that is infected by the past, by the emotions that we have not been able to assimilate and by the thoughts we have about things and people.
This internal migration to the heart, towards understanding and sensitivity is what gives us extraordinary authority. Every time we treat others badly, it is a leak of authority, it is a loss of power, and it is an emotional waste that takes away more from the people with whom we work or share life.
If, in the face of a fight, discussion or conflict, two people could look at themselves, in order to detect the place from where they have communicated, they could make an internal transformation that would help them improve all their relationships, both with themselves, with things, and with all people.
We must not forget that just as we have a MOTHER LANGUAGE, because the first words we learn from the mother, it is also true that the way we communicate is intimately related with how our mothers have treated us in the first days, weeks and months of life. According to experts, at 3 years old, every child has the language and communication system already installed. After we grow up we have to access that little black box that hides the secrets of how we talk and how we communicate.
Alberto José Varela